10.25.2012

thoughts on relationships pt. 3

Trust. This is number one in a relationship. Having a feeling of complete reassurance in someone else not only tells you you're in a healthy relationship, but it tells you that there is an unconditional love between the two of you. You place your heart in their keeping, and they place theirs in yours with the one hope that it won't be mistreated.

When trust is lost, whether it's infidelity, the emergence of true colors, or little white lies, the bond is broken. No matter how many feelings of attachment and love you have towards that person, eventually the ties begin to fray. You can try to hold on, but it's hard to go back to when you were blissfully unaware of any falsity.

Be with someone you know by heart, with no grey areas. Be honest. Whether upfront with who you are as a person, or if you made a mistake in the relationship. Be faithful. Be kind. Realize the valuable possession you have and care for it with only the best intentions. Whether near or far, that element of trust should always be there.

Communicate. When we are open with our feelings we avoid bickering, get what we need, and gain a comfortableness in which we share everything with our significant others. It means speaking up, being honest, and laying it on the line.

Too often we hold things in. We let everything bottle up, until it explodes out of us in messy, loud paragraphs that end up causing more damage than we intended. We think biting our tongues will be better in order to avoid confrontation, but why should we?

If you are with the right person then you won't fall on deaf ears. They will be open to everything you say.  They will be accepting of your feelings, your wishes, your faults, and yes, your complaints. Once the feelings are on the table, it's easier to move forward in a successful relationship. Be open.

Stop comparing. Every relationship is different. Unique. Special. It means you've found someone that you've built a foundation with, that wouldn't work with anyone else in the same way. It's important to remember that your relationship is yours.

Sometimes we look at other couples and say, "Why don't we do that?" or "I wish we were like that." We see the outside surface of another relationship and think it's perfect, without realizing there are many other layers that we don't see.

Be appreciative of what you have because it's something no one else has. Be even more appreciative of the person you've grown with because no one else has them. It's okay to mix things up every once in awhile, but trying to mold your relationship to match someone else's won't work. Just continue to make yours special in the way that only you can.


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