12.15.2012

trust and love

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I get a lot of emails regarding my relationship and the inner workings of it all when it comes to trust. Most of you know that I live with my boyfriend (whom I simply call Boyfriend on here), and that he's on the road a lot with his band (blessthefall). It's not the most typical of relationships, but it's one that works for us.

Trust is a huge thing, especially for two people who spend a lot of time apart. You want to trust the other person is making good decisions for themselves and for the relationship you've built. It's not easy to put your entire heart into the hands of someone else and just believe it's going to be okay. It's not like you get a warranty on it or some sort of lifetime guarantee. It's a scary commitment, but with the right person, it's a beautiful one.

These are my three no's in a relationship when it comes to trust:

No comparisons. Don't compare your relationship to other people's, or even one you used to have. Not a single relationship starts out in the exact same way, and the same goes for a relationship ending. Understand that what you share with your other half is solely yours. Don't go dragging any baggage into the relationship. Leave it at the door. Move on.

No worries. The worry of infidelity seems to live in a lot of relationships. Maybe it's past experiences that make us worry. Maybe it's the fact that scandals are splashed all over magazine covers. Maybe it's the examples our parents set. It's just there. It usually leaves us jealous or paranoid, especially when absence and distance separate us from the ones we love.

No jealousy. Jealousy becomes so silly when you both have confidence and trust in the relationship. Other people aren't a threat anymore. You simply think, "He or she is part a of my life in the most special of ways, and I'm so lucky for that." Who cares if someone bats an eyelash in their direction? You know that there is absolutely no room in their heart for anyone but you.

If you love someone, really, truly love someone, then breaking trust isn't even an option. When you feel that love in return, any worries dissipate. You have to be confident in the relationship, and in yourself. Knowing your value and your worth is key, along with finding someone who appreciates that same value and worth.

There is an immediate feeling of trust you get when you meet the right person. You know they won't let you down, and that feeling never goes away. I've felt this that since I met Boyfriend, and I've never had that feeling with anyone else. It's the same for him. He says it's because I give him "honest love." Our relationship works because we are always confident, always loving, always trusting. The three yes's.

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