1.24.2013

thoughts on relationships pt. 5

Give and take. There should be a proper balance in relationships. There are times to be selfish and selfless. Being too much of either one will be painful to yourself, and the other person. It's okay to ask for the remote when it's smack dab in the middle of both of you. It's okay to go out of your way to pick up chocolate milk when you don't even drink it, just because they are out. It's okay to admit you are wrong, or to stick to being right.

Giving too much of yourself will leave you empty, but somehow still fighting to give more. Taking too much will drain the other person, and leave you as a tyrant. There shouldn't be one giver and one taker in a relationship. Each of you should share the roles in proper times and situations. Getting to know each other will allow you to know which times and situations are best to give and take.

Bring out the best in each other. If a person makes you want to be a better person, then it's a true match. Partners should encourage each other to find the good in life, and in themselves. Push each other to follow dreams and complete goals. Deter each other from negative thinking and motives. Share a good life together that shines light onto your relationship and the world that surrounds you.

Often, couples find themselves sucking the happiness from each other. Dreams are forgotten, goals are left dusty, and negativity consumes them. Their focus becomes fixed on the bad, and it's a tough rut to climb out of. Instead, focus on the good in the world and in each other. Be kind towards one another, positive, and supportive.

Spend time apart. Not every waking moment needs to be spent with your partner. It's okay to enjoy hobbies or activities as an individual. After all, you are individuals and not super-glued together as one being. Enjoy time alone. Go to the gym. Paint a picture. Read a book. It gives you something to talk about with your partner when you reunite.

I see so many couples who do everything together. I swear, they might as well use the toilet at the same time. I think when people do this they end up losing themselves. They forget the reasons they fell in love with each other. The reasons that made them different and unique. It's awesome if you enjoy the same things, but it's okay if you don't either. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Even if it is just for an hour or two.

2 comments:

  1. I think this was appreciated today more than you know.. I see couples who spend all their time together and I always thing "oh I love that" but in relationships I always find that I need a little down time... even if it just going to the gym alone or snuggling up on the couch on a Sunday night and watching ghost whisperer alone... and then it makes me feel like I'm not putting as much into my relationships as someone else does... but you put it into a lot better prospective and really made me feel better about taking the time to still do little things that I do for me.. =)

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  2. This post is awesome! My husband and I have been trying to find the spark again and this put everything back into perspective. Thanks

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