2.28.2013

thoughts on weightloss


It's easy to get consumed by the obsessive thoughts and opinions of our own bodies, and those of others. We compare our tummies, our arms, our tushes, our legs to those of super models and women we see at the gym. We think, "If only I could look like her."

But what would it really change in your life? Maybe you're going to walk the next Victoria's Secret runway show. Maybe you're going to land that career you've been working hard towards. Maybe you are going to run naked through the streets. Maybe you'll finally nab a date with that guy who would date you only if you were a little bit thinner. Maybe not. No, probably not.

Weight is just a number and losing it doesn't magically transform our lives into magic and miracles. So why do we think it will? If we weren't so transfixed on what we'll "supposedly" get out of strutting around in a hot body, then maybe we'd actually enjoy the process of getting there. Perhaps we'd quit the yo-yo diets, the counting of calories, the guilt when we eat cake, the obsessive stalking of Miranda Kerr, and the races between you and the woman next to you on the treadmill.

I used to be that person. I used to try this diet and that diet. I was obsessed with the calories I consumed. I felt like crying after a bite of delicious lava cake. I stalked the shit out of Miranda Kerr. I swore that woman was racing me to some unknown destination once we hit the "STOP" button. I lost the weight. And guess what? I wasn't a Victoria's Secret angel, I still had my part time job, I sure as hell didn't run naked anywhere, and I didn't nab a date with that shallow guy. Instead, I was still stuck with the mindset that I wasn't good enough.

When I came to the realization that weight loss didn't grant wishes, I backtracked. I gained a little weight back. I had the "to hell with it" mindset. I said farewell to the gym. I ate the damn cake...and the beer..and the burger. And I felt like doodoocaca. It was then that I realized that there has to be a middle ground.

Where is this middle ground? A place where you care about your body, but in a non-obsessive way. A place where you put your health first, rather than a number on the scale. A place where the gym is simply something you enjoy, not a place you torture yourself while burning off those evil calories. A place where food is fuel, and no longer the enemy. A place where you love yourself, and the comparisons stop. A place where you comprehend that the grass isn't always greener with a six-pack. 

I went to that place, and I haven't left since. I've never been happier in my body. I've never been healthier. I'm in the gym every day because I love it. I set challenges for myself. I am getting stronger. I find happiness with a good run. It's basically my morning coffee, without all the sugar! I eat clean foods because they keep me healthy and feeling good. It doesn't mean I don't pig out on a burger every once in awhile. I sure don't feel any guilt about it. You have to enjoy the things in life!

If you change your mindset you can change your body.
You can love your body.


4 comments:

  1. I once was there, unknowingly. I'm now the obsessive scale watcher, I'm a totally different person because I allowed myself to get here. Thank you for the wake up call.

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  2. I used to always be obsessed with the number on the scale. I would go for days without eating while running 3 times a day. I was always sick and i spent more energy lying to my friends and family. I became anemic and couldn't even stand up without getting dizzy and I STILL hated what I saw in the mirror. It took me a very long time to Accept my body and try to treat it with kindness and care instead of the endless torture. I haven't been disappointed in myself in a very long time and I wanted to thank you for sharing your life and you're stories. You've been a huge help and influence. I never knew loving myself and my body was possible until I came across your blog.

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  3. Thank you for this post Brianna. Well written, honest truth.

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  4. You are such an inspiration, girl. This is my favorite post of yours yet.

    xx, Elin

    girlwiththestartattoo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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