3.18.2013

thoughts on relationships pt. 6

Differences. I feel like sometimes we try to find the person that matches us perfectly. I don't mean match as in you go well together, but match as in the exact same person as you. It seems like a good idea, right? You would be so compatible.

Wrong. In my eyes, compatibility means you complete each other by exposing new ideas, thoughts, and passions to your partner. You push them to open their eyes and hearts to the new. It's a beautiful thing.

I believe there are certain qualities and non-negotiables when choosing a partner. These vary from person to person. It could be children in the future, similar lifestyles (ie: drinking, smoking), religion. Whatever it may be, I don't believe in putting dreams aside or compromising your strong beliefs for someone else.

When it comes to the little things, it's okay for there to be differences. I love working out and eating healthy, while my boyfriend won't step foot in the gym and chicken nuggets are his main food group. I like indie bands that he refers to as "twangy jig music," and he likes heavier things that I refer to as "scary". I could spend a good couple hours scouring the mall, and he shops maybe once a year. I love to read, and the last thing he read was the Star Wars series when he was thirteen. These differences don't pull us apart, but they bring us closer. We open each other's eyes to new things, and appreciate the passions we each have. We don't need to be the same person, and would never want to change each other.

People don't change. They are who they are, and if we force them to be something they're not then the relationship isn't a relationship. It's a lie. We can only keep up facades for so long, until they break and we break along with them. I've molded to other's countless times because I didn't know who I was, so I believed that I could find me in someone else. It doesn't work that way.

So, if you're still out there looking for a partner. Try to narrow your "list" down a bit. Find your non-negotiables and go from there. Differences are great things. If you are already in a relationship, stop trying to change your partner. Instead, start appreciating what makes them different and realizing that's the reason you fell for them in the first place.


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