7.23.2013

two, not one

It's funny when you find yourself in a relationship, or should I say the relationship, when you finally understand it all. Well, almost. People may not find their match right away. They could find them in high school, when they're fifty, or when they're coming into adulthood. Whenever you find it, there's this settling feeling that comes over you. A sort of calmness. It's as if everything leading up to this person makes sense, and everything in this moment makes sense, and everything in the future will make sense as long as you're together. Sappy, I know.

This isn't to say these relationships are perfect every single day. That's impossible, and weird, and not real in my opinion. Every couple has their own peeves, issues, and dilemmas that they have between them. It's just life. There are moments when you want to tear their hair out or burn that one pair of blue basketball shorts (sorry, babe). There are moments that you learn from and grow from, and there are those you look back on together and laugh at how trivial the matter was. There has to be give and take. There has to be push and shove. It's healthy.

You don't let each other get away with everything. That's just stupid. You need to call each other out on things, whether you didn't pick up the dog shit or whether you need to give a little more affection. You help each other grow, and you make the relationship work. This doesn't mean change someone into a completely different person to match exactly who you are. What the hell is that? You might as well make a clone and slap some opposite genitalia on. Ew. It means you pick and choose your battles on the things that really matter to you. It means compromise. It means accepting someone for who they are and learning to work together as a team.

It's not about fully relying on someone else. Being completely dependent on another person shows weakness, and you kinda look like a helpless nag. Trust me, you'll be able to breathe without another person as your life support. Being independent is an attractive thing. Paying your own bills, or putting in your share is fair. Having a life outside of your relationship is healthy. You may not want to ever be without your partner, and that's okay, but knowing you'll survive without them (for whatever reason) is okay too. Remember, the strongest relationship you should have is with yourself. My boyfriend puts it perfectly in saying, "You're like my left arm." Together we work really well and we bring a lot of great aspects to each other's lives, but if he did happen to lose his left arm (me) he would still have other limbs to function. That's at least my take on it.

And...that's my two cents for today.

Oh, and just because I think we're pretty cute..
..I'm happy I found the relationship.

2 comments:

  1. This is beautifully written. I enjoy your posts very much. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this :) I've only recently discovered your blog, but I'll definitely keep coming back.

    ReplyDelete

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