shine or set

a lifestyle blog

Mom Guilt

It's 6:30 PM and Jaxin just went down for bed. I tidy up a bit upstairs before I head down to the living room to sit for a few minutes before I start on dinner. Truthfully, I tend to feel a tinge of guilt after I tuck him in for the night. I pose all these questions.
"Did I do enough?"
"Did we do enough activities?"
"Did I talk to him enough?"
"Were his meals nutritional enough?"
The common word being E N O U G H (it starts to look funky when you've spelled it out a few times).
I am okay at not comparing my mothering or my child to what I see on social media. I definitely get myself worked up sometimes. Like on IG stories, I see a kid eating salmon when the only way I can get Jax to eat protein is if it's breaded and doused in ketchup. Hell, I don't like salmon - how is my toddler supposed to? Or I see a picture of a mom with their baby at the aquarium. It looks like a fun and teachable moment, but I know Jax could care less about fish in a tank at this stage. There goes $50 that we can't afford.
Don't get me started on worrying/comparing developmental milestones. That's a whole other post.
I don't even think it's social media is the main cause of me questioning if I'm doing enough. It's more about the expectations I place on myself. It's about how I think things should be - what I imagined them to be before I became a mother. I imagined every day being filled with arts and crafts, play dates, balanced meals, reading books, and cuddles. Some days slightly resemble this "perfect" motherhood. Most days don't.
There are days I stay in my pajamas and Jax roams around in just a diaper. There are days I'm on my phone too much. There are days I use the TV as a babysitter. There are days when I give Jax cereal and string cheese for dinner because I just don't want to put up a fight. There are days I'm too focused on getting the house clean that I can't enjoy anything until it's done.
I'm not proud of these days. In fact, I had a major meltdown last night in front of my husband. I got so freaked about the "screen time" thing that it made me sick to my stomach. I tore myself to shreds, cried, and it carried into an unsuccessful night of restful sleep.
I think as moms we will always feel a sense of guilt. I think it simply means we care. Sure, there are things we could all improve on. BUT - it's important to remember we're not perfect. Not every day will go according to plan. We will probably always question ourselves. Self-reflection is helpful, but learn from it and do better - don't let it destroy you.
Also, try to use the word "enough" less. Change the questions you ask yourself.
"What did I do well?"
"What activities did we do?"
 "What words did I try to teach?"
 "What foods did he try?"
Changing the way you look at things can really help - not just as a mother, but in life. Give yourself more credit. We are all doing the best we can - most days.

Comments

  1. Seriously thank you for this!! Mom guilt is huge for me and reading this made me feel so much better than I’m not alone! Seeing motherhood on Instagram makes it seem as though these moms have it all together and are always doing more for their kids than I am. Thank you for ALWAYS being real and not trying to hide behind the facade of social media - it’s so refreshing and so needed by us other moms!! Mad love for you - been following you forever X

    ReplyDelete
  2. Totally agree! Felt the same way today (or everyday lol) so this helped<3

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

back to top